Too Harsh?

[rachet]

SO I'll try to make this really long story short:
My "best friend" of about 18 years has been dating this dirtball for 2 months and now they are getting married. For more than a dozen reasons I don't like the guy he creeps me out and he's just a dirtball. However, I have NEVER been rude to him or disrespected him in any way. Well now the stupid cocksucker is bad mouthing me(saying things like...you don't need her, she's trying to bring you down, when you gonna get rid of her, you guys weren't really that close anyways, shes a bitch...etc...etc) to my friend because I told her how I felt about the pace of their relationship and her response is "He's trying to protect me. I am supposed to be her maid of honor at this wedding but I am contemplating saying no thanks and moving on.

Would it be too harsh to tell her that I'd rather not associate with her because she won't defend our friendship ,or me, to a guy that's been in her life for 2.5 seconds?

[Mallory]

ya know that sucks...straight up/ a good friend, especially of that long, should defend you. and on top of that should listen to you, and value you opinion. and to be friends and drop you after dating a scumbag....well that shows how much she cares for you. if i was you i prolly would say no and move on.

[rachet]

Thanks for your advice

[tan0h0lic]

I would tell her honestly how you feel. She might be blinded by infactuation and not be thinking clearly.

[Samantha]

i know who we're talking about, i think u need 2 b there 4 her reguardless of the bad decision she may be making. DO NOT give up on her, and do not burn bridges, you may need her one day, and then what if she wasnt there for you when u needed her? Ur friendship had made it this far, dont give up now

[Angelique]

Originally Posted by tan0h0lic

I would tell her honestly how you feel. She might be blinded by infactuation and not be thinking clearly.

i agree with tanoholic, some peps just cant see things clearly when they are with someone, but she will start to see right just give it some time when she finds out truly how this guy is. then she will be like wow u were so right

[Ninks]

Originally Posted by rachet

SO I'll try to make this really long story short:
My "best friend" of about 18 years has been dating this dirtball for 2 months and now they are getting married. For more than a dozen reasons I don't like the guy he creeps me out and he's just a dirtball. However, I have NEVER been rude to him or disrespected him in any way. Well now the stupid cocksucker is bad mouthing me(saying things like...you don't need her, she's trying to bring you down, when you gonna get rid of her, you guys weren't really that close anyways, shes a bitch...etc...etc) to my friend because I told her how I felt about the pace of their relationship and her response is "He's trying to protect me. I am supposed to be her maid of honor at this wedding but I am contemplating saying no thanks and moving on.

Would it be too harsh to tell her that I'd rather not associate with her because she won't defend our friendship ,or me, to a guy that's been in her life for 2.5 seconds?

It sounds like the guy is scared that you will influence her and he will get dumped. That should be a huge red flag for her.

Personally, I would tell her that you love her, but refuse to be the maid of honor because of the reasons that you gave about the guy. HOPEFULLY it will make her think. That is the only reason I would do that, though. Just make really sure that she knows that you care about her.

Two months is not long enough. Believe me, I know! The man I married is really a great guy overall, but there is stuff about him that I would have found out if I had waited, and I hate to say it but I probably would not have married him.

Good luck.

[newyork]

That is ruff! A friend for 18yr is a long time.Stay buy her side hope the engagement is long enough for her to see the truth. 2 months is not a long time at all, does she fall in love easy alot? Or get her drunk and have her hook up with a guy and take some pic's.haha just messing around. good luck.

[Jamie]

Sooo, I was in the exact same situation 3 years ago. My best friend got engaged to this guy within 4 months of dating. This was going to be her second marriage. I liked the guy, but I didn't like how she treated him (she's VERY materialistic)...anyhoo, I was the Maid of Honor, and I did help her with her plans (for the second time), but I didn't agree with what she was doing. The wedding was Oct 04, and sadly I've talked to her once since then. ONCE. I told her how I felt, she didn't like it... we both moved on.